
Is there a logical flow of ideas? Identify any places where you may need to reorganize ideas. Identify places where adding a transition or recasting a sentence would make the ideas flow more logically.

Read the following paragraphs twice, the first time without Jorge’s changes, and the second time with them.įollow these steps to begin revising your paper’s overall organization. He also added transitions to improve the flow of ideas from sentence to sentence. During revision, Jorge added a topic sentence that clearly connected the paragraph to the one that had preceded it. However, he did notice that one paragraph did not have a clear main idea. For the most part, the flow of ideas was clear. As he read, he highlighted the main idea of each paragraph so he could see whether his ideas proceeded in a logical order. Jorge reread his draft paragraph by paragraph.
Multimedia project rough draft example how to#

It would be great to show how upset he gets when he reads the tweets. I am not sure if you are planning to show your character sitting at a computer in his home, but I think that would a great idea. I am really interested to see how your video will play out and I like your idea about showing the main character and how the abuse from fellow peers led up to the shooting that day. I definitely agree with Courtney about maybe creating a fake Facebook account and showing that in your Storify as well. I am not sure if it will be helpful, but here is a link to a CNN article about the topic. I did a research post last semester in Writing for New Media about cyber-bullying and how much it is happening today. Cyber-bullying is definitely something that is happening in the social media world. We will include the video once it is finished for more feed back. We would love to know how to strengthen our project because right now we just have the news article and the video will be shot Thursday night. It will also display “pseudo” cell phone footage of the actual shooting. We have people that will show the main character as he is going through the torment on Twitter and how bad it is at his school being the butt of everyone’s joke. It would almost be a reenactment of the events that lead up to the shooting happening. We have a video that will go along with it. We plan to add more tweets so that it looks like it is a transition from happy senior to angered and hurt individual ready to commit this heinous act of violence.

We have completed the news story that include tweets from accounts that we have made for each individual. We created a fake news story using Storify that highlights a school shooting that was caused by students harassing others using Twitter. Myself and Tori took a more serious subject in the form of cyberbulling.
